If you want more crazy pseudohistory, then watch National Treasure. From this follows lots of running around Europe, the sinister albino monk in hot pursuit, and finally a reading of Leonardo's secret message indicating that the Grail (Magdalene's remains) is buried beneath the pyramid in the Louvre. A curator at the Louvre was murdered by a sinister albino monk, but not before he managed to leave clues written in his own blood. Some of those who should have been keeping the secret decided to leave odd little clues around, Leonardo Da Vinci's The Last Supper being an example of this. The Roman Catholic Church, specifically Opus Dei, were eager to preserve Christ's lifestyle as a confirmed bachelor, and thus the fun begins.

Along came the Priory of Sion and the Knights Templar, tasked with preserving the secret of the Grail. This conflicts with accepted Christian doctrine, and the equally realistic Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, or the rather more realistic Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Jesus and Mary Magdalene got it on, went to France, and founded the Merovingian bloodline, the bloodline being considered the true Holy Grail. Why, Tom? Is Scientology not enough to sate your appetite for batshit insanity? This book was also made into a bad movie by Sony Pictures, starring Tom Hanks. The book uses footnotes to back up its outlandish claims even though they are bullshit. The novel also depicts the Knights Templar as Gnostics who were in on the secret. The Da Vinci Code (literally Of Vinci Code da Vinci is not Leonardo's last name) tells the story of a conspiracy to hide the fact that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and had children. In the end, nothing is what it seems, and the explanation behind the whole thing is both 'rational' and really stupid. Oh, and one of the 'good guys' turns out to be a traitor with a hidden agenda. Robert Langdon, the series' protagonist and Dan Brown's obvious self-insert character, is a world-renowned Harvard professor of history of art and 'symbology', which isn't even a real thing.Įach novel follows almost one boring formula: some important guy dies from unnatural causes Robert Langdon gets mixed up and, implicated in a conspiracy, has to go on the run looking for historical clues in an over-touristed city with a token female character who is always very beautiful and very smart ( but never as smart as Langdon), while being chased by an unstoppable killer. Because, guess what, they made fucking three. “ ”My dad told me this book was good! Everybody’s dad did! Did you know they made two Da Vinci Code movies? Well, they didn't.

The da vinci code series